Promiscuity and 'marriage crisis' in Iran?
Excerpts from Los Angeles Times report published September 25, 2012 "Can matchmaking websites help Iran with 'marriage crisis'?":
Iranian ministers have fretted for years about a "marriage crisis" in the country. The average age when people wed has climbed since the Islamic Revolution of 1979, causing concern among officials, as well as family elders, that Iranians may stray from a traditional pious path by staying single too long.
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Legalization of matchmaking websites, which many scholars doubt will alter the trend of delayed marriages, is being imagined as a way of fostering more traditional marriages.
Though many Iranians continue to look to families to approve their matches, and arranged marriages still happen, especially in small towns, Iranians in cities often meet their mates in the same kinds of settings that Westerners do — on college campuses, at private parties or in public places — and get their families to approve them after the fact.
Some illegal websites for Iranian singles are blocked by the government, making them accessible only with technology that dodges the restrictions. Many of the sites are geared to helping Iranians find partners for sex through "temporary marriage" rather than spouses.
Also troubling to the government, divorce rates surged to a national average of 16.3% last year, jumping more than 4 percentage points. Center for Demographic Studies deputy minister Shahla Kazemipour bemoaned the figure as "an alarming development." In Tehran, 1 in 3 marriages ended in divorce.
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Many men, in turn, are waiting to wed because of unemployment and economic strain, a problem that has worsened as Iran has been pinched by sanctions. Grooms are also expected to foot the bill for lavish wedding parties and mahrieh, a promised number of gold coins that the wife can demand later, typically only if the marriage sours.
For some, it's just not worth it.
"These days, if a man has got a good car and a furnished apartment, he can have sex free of charge after a couple of times eating out in good restaurants," said Mohammad, 36. "So why should I bother myself to marry a girl?"
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Women, increasingly uneasy about their lack of power in marriage, have demanded higher and higher mahrieh as a sort of insurance policy, with promised sums ranging from $10,000 to $350,000, said Djavad Salehi-Isfahani, an economics professor at Virginia Tech who studies Iranian families. Though the groom doesn't have to pay the pledged money upfront, failing to do so can put a chill on wedding planning, a sign that a man isn't economically steady.
"I have several boyfriends, but none of them could be my husband as they could not afford to raise a family," said 32-year-old Saeede. "I've almost given up finding a suitable husband."
She's had surgery to make her nose look more European, she said, and might go back to college to increase her chances of finding the right man, "God willing."
